Friday, November 03, 2006

Mussed Up for Mussina

Dear Chicken Butt,

I've long been a Yankee fan and go all slobbery over Mike Mussina. Not only does he concentrate on every pitch, but I can tell he cares. Plus, he graduated from Stanford with a degree in Economics, so he doesn't just blow spit bubbles. I just read in The New York Post that he's considering moving to the Mets. Is it bad for me to consider switching my allegiance?

Love, The Next Mrs. Mussina

Dear Dream On,

Love is a wonderful thing so I have to go the Tammy Wynnette route and say, Stand By Your Man on this one. Usually, I'd stress the importance of sticking with losers. And let's face it, the Yankees have been in a downward spiral since 2001. But there's a bright light on the horizon, something new, different, could be the Mets finally not sucking? They may become the new cool team in New York and if Mussina signs on, you should take that ricketty 7 train out to Shea. He could be your equivalent to Charlie Sheen's Wild Thing in Major League.
In the end, you're still watching posh millionaires running around a square. What could be more fun than that?

Now, I have to go scratch the dirt before I lob a fastball loogey at Sister Hen. She'll never see it coming!


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